i think i’ve decided to name all my blog posts from song lyrics. this one came to mind after my first doctor’s appointment when another woman in the waiting room asked if i was expecting. i said yes. she asked if we were planning/trying (yes, nosy, nosy lady). i said no, but that this is obviously God’s plan for us and that we are so excited about the change in our plans. she said, “well, that’s a happy little accident” in a very sweet voice. i’m sure she meant good things by it. we talked for a minute and then i got called back … but it got me thinking.
sure, this little one wasn’t planned. we were being as responsible as our earthly bodies could be, but God LOVES working in that .1% – we think He’s obviously telling us that this is our time and that this is His plan. in no way then could i ever see this as an “accident.” unplanned and accidental are two totally different terms with different connotations. i would never even begin to think of this as an accidental baby (thinking of damien rice now, man … i love having a musical thought life), but only as someone that God meticulously planned out for us, and just messed with our timing (which shouldn’t be our timing anyway). God’s an amazing teacher, and He’s continually teaching us to not bank on plans that we make because those are faulty, are often based on society/culture, and tend to dissolve if we come up against hardship, but to rely on His plan and His calling in our lives … it’s been a struggle at times but it’s a beautiful and freeing surrender. what makes sense to God doesn’t always make sense to us, His ways are beyond our own. right sizing God has been freeing.
i have heard a million times before that if people ever waited till they were actually ready to have kids and all that having a child entails then no one would have children. i tend to agree, particularly when you follow what society says we should be and not what God says. i wouldn’t have thought we were ready or that perhaps there was something more i wanted to do pre-child … but now i’m beginning to see that while, yes, this adds a whole heap of responsibility and craziness into our lives, it is an absolute blessing and miracle to be counted as worthy to bring life into this world. gives me the chills. we’ll have a new person in our world, a LOVED and cared for little one. what more could you want?! i love that we didn’t have to plan meticulously how and when this child would be brought into the world, or when it would make the most “sense” for us – because i see now that God has called us to TRUST that He is at the helm, causing everything to make sense, and teaching us to not rely on what society says you should be or have when you have children. sure we’re in the midst of a transitional move and are switching jobs, etc- so? God’s faithful and knew what these plans were well before we even talked about moving. we have God and we have each other. for 8 years we’ve been together and known each other … for 2 of those we’ve been married. i know trev will be an amazing father, and i certainly know God is faithful. what else would we need?