what am i going to do?

this is a big question in my mind lately. with keaton inching towards the 6 month mark, a mark that i told myself i wanted to get back to work by, i have been spending hours in prayer and research for what i want to do. am i crazy? who would want to leave this adorableness for 8 hours, even if it is just a couple times a week?!

while keaton and the rest of our, God willing, future kiddies are youngins we are aiming for me working part time. i’m teaching some classes online, but i’m talking out of the house, doing this for my own mental and personal stimulation type of job.

-i want to teach natural birthing classes.
-i want to doula, very part time, but doula nonetheless.
-i want to use my clinical psych degree and do therapy … preferably for pregnant women to process previous trauma (birth or otherwise) to get them in a good place to not only have the labor and delivery they desire, but to transition into motherhood feeling confident and secure
-i want to advocate for maternal health around the world. our trip to sri lanka in 2012/2013 would be a great place to start!
{a mix of all of these things is the ideal, here … what that exactly looks like has yet to come to show itself}

but, i think these might be idealistic dreams in the short term. perhaps. i have a hefty amount of student loans that we are attacking, dave ramsey style. i wonder if, in order to pay those off with the intensity we want to, if i need to put the dream job on hold and go for the job that is going to be more stable and provide a faster income off the bat. i mean, i have interests outside of natural birthing, etc. i have a lot of other clinical interests … but nothing has been more transformative and impactful than my pregnancy, birth, and raising keaty. and i can say definitively that our communities need more quality caregivers in this arena.

i am currently an intern in the state of CA, so whatever job i pick up, if it involves counseling, i can do it … as long as i have supervision. i’m in talks with my OB about practicing out of his practice, but that might not come to fruition till his birthing center opens sometime within the next year or so.

i am in love with the most amazing work that God has placed and will ever place in my life, being a loving wife and mother, but i also long for something more … and while i have the opportunity for keaty to hang with his grandparents while i head to work for a couple days a week … i gotta jump on it. when and how is still up in the air! i’ll keep you posted … i know you’ll be waiting with bated breath


One thought on “what am i going to do?

  1. Aww, Kel,

    Such a hard decision! No matter what happens, you can’t go wrong. Your boy is so lucky to have you as his mama. God will lead you where He wants you to be 🙂


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