the birth of selah

okay, so here we go. i often share my students’ stories here, and i thought it was only appropriate to share selah’s story as well. it is one that rocked my heart in the best way possible, a story that lights my husband’s heart on fire..for birth, for me, for his children. it is one that really served to heal some previous hurts, and give me encouragement for the road ahead.

remember when i went on and on about my love for my chiropractors? well, on thursday september 12 i went in for one last adjustment, as i felt baby’s back was on my right side and i really wanted him/her to flip over into a more straightforward LOA position (oh the things birthy people know…). i left my adjustment feeling great and met my family for lunch. i felt baby shift over to LOA soon after lunch while i was walking to my car…little victories!! keaton went over to my mother in laws, as he does on thursday afternoons, and i came home. i napped and cleaned like a crazy person when i woke up. around 5ish i started feeling a little different- a little nauseous (i had been dealing with some third trimester nausea previously so assumed it was just that), and just a little off. i even texted my doula to tell her that i was hoping things would start to happen, only to later text her around 8:30ish that it was wishful thinking.  trevor got home from work late due to a work dinner, and keaton was dropped back off at our house around 8:30. he went right to sleep and i kissed him before i left his room…i kind of felt emotional leaving, as if i knew it would be the last time i would kiss him as my only child.

trevor turned on duck dynasty and i headed to lay down in bed and watch a movie on the ipad. we both needed to just zone out- him after a LONG week at work, and me because, well, i knew something was coming i guess. before i got into bed i brushed my hair (never happens! ha!), washed my face and put on a little makeup. what?! i got into the outfit i wanted to wear while laboring. i told myself i was jinxing myself, but i could not NOT do it.

around 9:45 i felt a pretty intense surge that wrapped around from my lower belly into my lower back. it wasn’t painful or anything, just really tight- even moreso than the other warm ups I’d been having. told myself not think about it and started watching my movie. about 5 minutes later i got up (to clean a little bit more in our closet, i couldn’t help myself!), and i felt a warm trickle down my leg. hmmm. peeing myself. great! i walked to the bathroom and bam. gush. definitely not peeing myself! this was exactly how keaton’s labor began, i was comforted by that in many ways. i knew it was time now finally, one way or another, we were gonna meet this babe. after LOTS of warming up in previous weeks, it was game time at 40w+4d (there was a huge part of me that knew i wanted my water to release as my first sign of labor, as i did with keaton, because i waited so long for keaton that i was nervous all of this warming up was going to mess with my head too much). trevor was stoked, i was stoked. we turned on some good tunes and just started talking. about the baby, about keaton, about life. i paused every like 5-8 mins or so and breathed through my surges, but they were honestly easy at that point. really tight, but nothing i couldn’t just focus on and breathe through.

i let my doula, midwives, and photographer know that my water had broken but that there was no rush for anything at that point- labor was in the early stages and was easy at this point…it would be a long night…right?! trevor tried to sleep (it was going to be a long night…right?!) and i just got comfy on my ball and got lost in the music that was playing. about an hour and a half later, my surges became more intense. still breathable and manageable, but i noticed a shift in how i was experiencing them…how i needed trevor to push on my back to alleviate the pressure. how i needed to make some deep noises to work through them. i was doing it and handling it just fine, but it was new. i let my doula know, and apparently she knew more than i did- we told her it would be too early to come to us, but she listened to me and read between the lines…she was going to come by and say hi. she told us to call the midwives to tell them the same. the midwives said they were on their way too…i almost felt bad, since honestly i felt like i was so early in labor that they would be missing out on a night of sleep by coming to me. i labored on the birth ball, leaning over our bathroom sink, and leaning over our dining room table (which happens to be outside on our covered patio…it was a beautiful night and laboring outside felt great).

funny being on this end of a birthing mama instead of the doula end.

everyone showed up around midnight, and we decided to call our photographer a bit after that because i was finally at the point where i felt like i was in “active labor.” my doula has the sweetest voice and i just focused on her telling me to keep  breathing, to let the last one go. she was exactly what i needed. trevor was the muscle of the operation- pushing on my back and eventually into my hips for each surge while i swayed back and forth, gently moaning with each tightening. jenna was the sweet voice i needed at the moment i needed it. it was exactly what i wanted it to be.

i had some music going in the background and had some cards with scripture written on them out for me to read. amazing how many worship songs and how much of scripture talks about surrender. these were the good words that i needed to keep surrendering to God, to the process…to stay calm, to trust.

the midwives wanted to check me around 12:35ish, just to see what kind of progress i was making. i really REALLY didn’t want to lay down on my back, but made it to my side on our bed and felt a bit better. i remembered then how much i really don’t like those checks. no fun! but, good news. i was 8cm and totally soft. what?! labor only really just began?! it wasn’t THAT hard, certainly not transition kind of work quite yet. 8cm. let’s fill the birth tub up with water! yes, perfect idea. my tub was pretty deep (too deep!), and would take a while to fill up, but we started filling it then and i was encouraged to go sit on the toilet or labor in the shower till it would be ready. i thought in my head- i bet i have about an hour more of labor before meeting our baby. totally could handle that, then totally didn’t expect what came next! literally minutes after being checked and being 8cm, i needed to push. i hadn’t made it to the toilet (thank goodness!) and knew, with that instinct, there was no way i was going to make it in the tub. i grabbed onto my doula and bore down with my breath. one good moaning downwards and i felt that all familiar burning/opening. wait, baby?! already?! no no, that’s crazy talk. i remember thinking, perhaps even saying, “you guys don’t understand!” … i felt like they didn’t understand what i was feeling (they did), or that the baby was coming (they did).

my body took over and i went along for the ride. i instinctually climbed onto my bed on hands and knees. welp, there’s part of baby’s head! that natural expulsive reflex came and went, giving me breathers in between. baby popped back in once i got on my hands and knees and i made my way down to laying down on my side on our bed and that little rotation was exactly what baby needed. baby was popping right out, even with a hand up near his/her chin. i was so hot. so so hot. i was wearing a headband (that i thought would look SO cute. haha!), and i threw that off and my doula got me a cold washcloth. ohhh the sweetest of all sweet reliefs.  i kept trying to close my legs, even though i knew i wanted to be as open as possible…shout out to the midwives/their apprentice for dealing with my leg! haha! my breathing got off and i kind of “lost it” slightly at this point- but got it right back when i was reminded of the fact that i was safe, that baby was here, that i just needed to breath. i caught my breath again and had such a sweet moment of trust. i closed my eyes for one final encouragement for baby to come out, only to realize that baby was just about to. trevor kept telling me “open your eyes, you need to see this!!,” our eyes met and his face was beaming. my midwife encouraged me to bring my hands down to lift up my baby onto my chest. what a feeling- that little slippery, tiny, warm body making its way out of my body and into the world and into mommy’s hands. unparalleled honestly. i tried to bring baby up to my chest and was met with a very short cord.

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i laid baby on my belly and just stared. in awe. we had a baby. already. i was just barely laboring?! and baby is here now?! what?! on our bed?! in our house?! while keaton sleeps?! it all started to settle in.

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i looked at baby’s sweet face and my GOODNESS was it keaton’s twin (just fewer chins!!). baby didn’t even cry. not for quite a while. baby just breathed slowly, the thick umbilical cord still pulsing and helping, and baby just looked into my eyes and looked around. so mellow, so chill. taking it all in. our eyes caught each others’ for about 15 seconds straight, and as i talked to baby, her (we didn’t know she was a she yet!) eyes got wider and breathing got more rhythmic. this was the type of birth i dreamed of  and prayed for for my baby. gentle, loving, dimly lit, warm, hands off, and surrounded by safety. 12:47am, september 13. about 2 hours and 45 mins after labor began. only about an hour after feeling like i was actually truly really actively laboring.

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i labored so quickly and unexpectedly that our photographer (Labor of Love Photography. Amazing captures, right?!) came literally as baby was being born. for a moment i felt bad about not calling her earlier, but then it was exactly what it was meant to be- and i never ever would have guess in a thousand years that i would have gone that fast, or been that far along, so there was no reason to call earlier. but praise God she made it then, as she captured some of the sweetest moments of our entire life- meeting our little one.

we spent time oohing and aahing over baby, talking about how quickly that went, and just cuddling with our babe. we realized about 10 minutes after the birth that we had no idea if we had a girl or boy! what?! trevor lifted up the blanket we had over her and stared for a little bit. “it’s a boy!!” oh wow, a brother for keaton! how exciting! and then cue some silence from the midwives…ummm…you might want to look a little more closely. trevor lifted up the blanket again. “what? i can’t really tell!” haha. it was dark, things are swollen, the cord was still attached…eventually he put it all together. a girl! a GIRL!! keaton knew from the moment we told him he was going to be a big brother that he was going to have a little sister. he just knew.

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i tore a bit and had to be stitched up after my placenta finally decided to come on out…not my favorite thing in the world. honestly even after i just birthed a big baby, the stitching was…bleah. selah’s hand was up near her chin and i think that’s what did it, that and the fact that she just powered her way outta there! but there wasn’t that much to be mended and it was over quickly and it healed really easily, i was really not uncomfortable at all afterwards, and no swelling at all. score.

i got up to pee and was encouraged that all was well. haha.

our midwives and doula cleaned up, made me some food (almond butter on toast never tasted so good!!), and were just such an encouragement. as they began to pack up i realized something…i just had a baby. on our bed. and now i get to sleep in that bed. with that baby. with my husband. and be comfortable. it was a glorious thought. it was a glorious reality.

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as everyone started to leave a couple hours after the birth, our sweet doula stayed to pray with us. we thanked God for His provision, for His goodness, for our sweet daughter. it was one of my favorite moments to thank God for His willingness to provide this desire of our hearts to not only have a home birth but have a healthy, happy little one.

we got to sleep in our beds with our little girl, working on breastfeeding again (so different since i was so used to nursing a toddler last time i did it!!). trevor and selah slept, but i was on a high. the oxytocin flowing in that room was unparalleled, and i was just riding along with it. i went in and out of sleeping a little bit that first night, but didn’t really get to sleep till the following night. birth high, i tell ya.

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keaton came into our room the next morning as he always does and was met with his baby sister. what a moment! he climbed into bed with us and was amazed at all of baby’s little features. “baby has hands!! and eyes!! look at baby’s ears!! and nose!! wowwww!!”

trevor made us all breakfast, and we just hung out until we were ready to tell our family later in the day that we were ready for them. it was exactly what we wanted.

this story of selah’s quick entrance into our lives is one that we treasure greatly. it not only served to remind me of how inviting God purposefully into our experiences is such a sacred thing, but it reminded me of the sanctity of life and how precious the first moments of a new life truly are- to that baby, and to that entire family. it reminded me of why i do the work i do. it reminded me of why i have such a heart for women all over the world.

thanks for reading our selah girl’s story!

for more info in our super fabulous birth team:

doula: Jenna Anderson

 midwives: San Diego Midwife

photographer: Labor of Love Birth Photography

…the reveal…

hello, my friends!

my last update was around 38 weeks, and this update is comin’ atcha 11 days postpartum. yes, that is right…i went and had me a baby! my birth story will be coming soon, but suffice to say it was an incredible, intense, calm, beautiful entrance into the world for our baby. and in the comfort of our own home, to boot.

the details:

1176107_636718539701596_1031206520_nit’s a GIRL

selah. {“say-lah”}

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2 hours and 45 minutes of labor, born at 12:47am on our bed (too fast to fill the tub up).

1176108_636719039701546_602195496_na beautiful baby girl and a beaming older brother (who now, at 11 days postpartum, is realizing this new baby is actually staying. and he’s not 100% sure how he feels about it)

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1240602_641654679188609_341738394_nphotography by Labor of Love Photography and Petula Pea.

lots of love from our family of four,

kelly ❤

38+ weeks

hey friends,

so i haven’t been updating much, and definitely haven’t been using this blog as much of a personal blog, in quite a while. but i wanted to fill y’all in on the goings on in the pappas household.

i’m currently 38 weeks and a few days. given that keaton was a 41w+5d babe, i keep telling myself to just assume 42 weeks. it was easy with keaton to just keep going and not think much about it, but this time around it feels different. literally. LOTS of practice/warming up happening, and lots of those lovely “zingers” as i call them. i know my body and baby are preparing…and for that, i am grateful.

we got some maternity shots done recently, too! this amazing and talented photographer (petula pea photography) was actually a doula client of mine. she is just the absolute sweetest woman you will ever meet, and is beyond talented. as you can tell by these sneak peaks:

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are you swooning yet? dead from gorgeousness? not our own of course, but just the FEEL and the LOOK of these photos? we wandered into a totally random field with dead grass and weeds and such and ta-da! talk about her having a vision…! again, her link is Petula Pea Photography, and if you are in San Diego- she does amazing work. Check out her portfolio! her weddings are so insanely gorgeous, too!!

we are currently feeling really grateful we are waiting to find out if this sweet pea is a boy or a girl. i love the build up of not knowing, and i love that the moment of meeting this little goose will be that much more of an “oh my GOODNESS!” moment. if that’s even possible?!

i keep thinking about how keaton is going to be a big brother, and that we will be parents to two little peas. i really don’t have those feelings of “ohhh, i feel sad that it won’t just be keaton any more” or anything like that…i feel like we have given him our absolute all during this period of his life that it has been just him, but that we have also really striven already thus far to show him that life isn’t all about him no matter what. so add in a sibling, move him to a remote nation for missions work, or put him on a playground with other kids…we want him to show us, as he says, “my kind, sweet, gentle heart.” goodness do we pray he always keeps that kind, sweet, gentle heart (of course there are days where it seems like it has left his little body forever! only to return a bit later in the form of cuddles and kisses and genuine care).  our prayer is that this new little life only serves to strengthen keaton’s heart in his awareness of our love for him, his abilities to be kind and gentle and encouraging and selfless, and to point him towards God’s everlasting love. what more could we want?!

i have a little email address that i set up for keaton when he was maybe 4-5 months old and have been periodically writing emails and sending photos or videos. i am writing him an email in a bit about how these are the last days of “just us” … and i am cherishing the waiting game (still very very early in the waiting game!) as of now, as it keeps me in this beautiful precipice of known and unknown.

i already know that the unknown is the most beautiful thing we have ever experienced, so this … this is exactly where we are supposed to be.

 

and with that, hello…

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i kept telling myself i would focus on blogging when my final doula client i had scheduled before my own little goose arrived had her baby.  funny about the timing of baby’s births though…it’s never quite what you envision! this sweet mama nurtured and loved on her healthy baby boy longer than we anticipated, and i thought to myself- eh, i’ll write a post whenever it does happen and go from there. but i kind of envisioned starting to get back to blogging around week 22 or so. welp, hello week 25!

it was quite the labor for this mama. i pulled just about every doula trick i knew (and researched new ones) for this birth. and, in the end, a sweet little boy is now in the world and is so stinkin sweet and healthy and fully loved by his family. and a sweet little boy who shares the same name as MY sweet little boy, no less!

and with that, hello…

and with that, my phone has been turned off at night and i have started thinking of baby names. i have started to envision what life will be like with two. i have started to really focus on the reality of what is happening in my own belly, rather than solely focusing on what is happening in others’ bellies (although, of course, i still have that focus, it’s just not as intense as it is when doula’ing for a couple- where i am quite invested). it was pretty fun to have those conversations about names, about what little girl clothing we would get should this little goose be a girl…and how similar or different we think they will be if this little goose is a boy. i finally let myself go there, and it was pretty freeing honestly.

i will be 25 weeks tomorrow. i have 17 weeks or less to go before meeting this little one. and while yes, we are preparing for the birth, i am also doing much more heart preparation this time around. God has been working in our lives in mighty ways over the past few months (well, He always has been, we just have been crazy aware of it recently in particular), and i believe this is a result of our steadfast desire to spend time with Him and ask Him for very specific direction in terms of our family’s future. a lot of prayer in regards to having the heart of a parent of 2 that glorifies Him, for the good to be refined and for the negative to be made clean…for the heart of our kiddos to turn to Him and love Him by our example. i think i left God out of my journey in many ways in my last pregnancy- or, i should say, i didn’t understand the fullness i could have by intentionally inviting Him into each and every experience within my pregnancy (and life) and birth and early parenting world. i know better these days. or, i should say, HE has shown me better.

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i have about 6 different blog posts started for the next couple weeks, and more ideas swirling. some are birth related (you’ll hear more about my transition out of being a “hypnobirthing” instructor and into my own “brand” of classes that reflect, fully, what i teach, you’ll meet my “birth team” and learn a bit more about how i picked them, and pick up some advice about how to pick your own should you be looking for some of that!), as well as life related (learn more about what keaton is up to, what my belly is up to, what directions our family is being led…)

but for now…hello.

and for now…here are my babes.

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sometimes

i can’t count how many posts i’ve made where i’ve mentioned how crazy it is that my son is growing up so quickly. i guess i won’t ever stop thinking that. even when i am watching him drive away for the first time on his own, or heading off to college, or getting his first career job, or dancing with him on his wedding day, or crying with him when his son or daughter is born…i guess my thought will always be- wow, how time has flown!

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i don’t really want it to fly though. not necessarily because i treasure these moments so much (i do, i wish i could bottle them up and keep them forever), but moreso because i don’t want that to be my life. “where did the time go?!”

this year, after looking at pinterest at the end of last year, i decided to take note of little joys that happen each day in my life. not only does this help me see joy in sometimes unexpected places, but it helps me take some time out of being preoccupied with busy-ness and focus on the sweetness of life. grace.

some days the joys are easier to spot than others. keaton happy, mama happy- yes, good things just seem to burst forth like a well.  but some days i don’t want to leave the house and keaton is running me ragged and i just don’t know how i’m keeping all of the balls i have in the air up so high. but those days are when this practice is so needed. where is my joy? in my circumstance? dependent on my day to day experiences? dependent on the choices my son makes to obey or disobey? where is the joy in that fickle-ness? how can i be IN the moment when i feel overwhelmed by it?!

those are the days i need the reminders of sweet grace in my life. of taking on a project and seeing it to completion. of writing hand written cards to friends and sending them. of bringing up old jokes with my husband that we had forgotten how they used to make us laugh so hard we couldn’t breathe. of being intentional in my discipline with my son but deciding to focus more on connecting than correcting. of finding even small ways to bless my family. of doing something sweet for my husband that reminds him that no matter how many kids or jobs or crazy things that happen, that i always strive to honor and love him well because, well, i love him.

thinking about these sweet graces in my life and shifting my perspective is helping me reclaim my joy. and it’s keeping my footing strong. and helps me stay in the moment, enjoying the moments rather than letting them dictate how my life will be, or how i will engage in that life. yes there are times when i’m stressed, and overwhelmed, and wondering how in the world i can take any more in that exact moment- but in that same exact moment there is still joy to be found. it takes a lot of intentionality to find it, but it’s there. and i’m learning to find it. to enjoy the moments of my life rather than let them slip by unnoticed. it’s making me a better woman. a better wife. a better mom.

a few days ago was a rough day with keaton. he wasn’t giving me a hard time, he was having a hard time. or at least i kept telling myself that.  i wasn’t feeling well, i didn’t have a lot of energy to play with him, and i was getting the brunt of his frustration. we could have gone on all day like that. a few minutes of giggles followed by some alone time, followed by tears and frustration, followed by some giggles and so the pattern could have just repeated all day. i decided instead to make the best of it. his sweet little laugh was all i needed to keep going. we made, out of the blankets on the bed that i was laying sick in, a pretty awesome fort. i had keaton run and get books and toys and he brought them in with him, as if he was entering disneyland or something, with a huge smile he says “mommy this is VERY cool!” add on a flashlight and some shadow puppets and there you go…day turned upside down. a shift in my perspective to be present and meet his needs while needing to meet my own needs as well…took a bit more effort than just turning over and thinking “woah is me…”

and it was one of those moments that will go down on a piece of paper for my little joys of the day for the year. and when the year is up and i look back on it through these papers, i can smile and say- yup, that WAS very cool.

it’s the little things

i am not much of a new years’ resolution kind of girl, but i do appreciate the newness that a new year can bring. (how many times can YOU use the word “new” in a sentence?!)

i like the feeling of a blank slate. of an easy to utilize way to being truly following hard after what has been serving your heart well, and easing off the things that were holding you back the previous year. it just feels like a fresh start when you look at it that way, and a good bench mark to feel yourself out- where am i? where is my heart? what am i striving towards?

in 2013 i want to focus more on contentment.  not complacency, but contentment.tumblr_lsrie3me6l1qiqf01o1_500

ever heard that phrase before? it is something i have hanging on my corkboard above our home computer. it is something i need constant reminding of. i can, almost instantly, go from “ohhh, i feel beyond thankful and want to serve others, etc etc!” to “ahhh! i’m discontent! i am not good enough, smart enough, busy enough, a good enough mom, a good enough wife, a good enough friend, i don’t have enough cute clothes!” woah. that’s quite the shift, right?! all from how i choose to look at things. when i am coveting things, when i have pieces of envy and jealousy that are shrouding my view on the world, i immediately am small. not good enough. i don’t measure up. but guess what? that’s not where my heart should be focused at all, and i don’t need to believe the lies. but what i do need is to take my thoughts captive. to CHOOSE my outlook, to CHOOSE joy, to CHOOSE contentment.

i have been thinking about just that recently- taking my thoughts captive. i was washing the dishes the other night and was kind of bitter about it- why are there ALWAYS dishes?! why do i always end up doing them?! ohhh poor me, why oh why?! and then i asked myself why i am doing them in the first place. yeah, i don’t like a messy kitchen…but really…why. well, it’s because it serves my family well. it allows for our family to focus on being together. sometimes the things that we need to do aren’t the most fun, but they need to get done. when i started thinking about the fact that even the act of doing the dishes, something i was bitter about just moments ago, was actually serving my family well- woah! i was done with the dishes in no time and off to find another project to help keep the flow of our household going. this is a small example, but a huge heart change.

i am not always the greatest at taking my thoughts captive on my own. i am GREAT at encouraging others to do so- family, friends, students, doula clients- I can remind them that they can get to a place where they are focusing on the truths instead of the lies. and they often do. but i’m not so great at doing that on my own. but guess what?! more great news! we weren’t meant to do this all on our own! travel partners were created for this journey.

i’m learning more and more about my need for community. not just friends or people i chat about things with, but real authentic community that builds me up and i help build up too. the type of relationships where you come to serve but in the process are also served, and even if that had previously made you a little uncomfortable (raising hand), you accept it because that’s what we are there for…serving each other well. i’m not always great at (i swear this isn’t a “i’m not always great at!” post!!) asking for help when i need it. i can do a lot of things on my own, i CAN do it…but should i? that’s a question that’s been on my heart. 2013 is going to be for focusing on contentment. contentment found in this kind of community. i’m thankful for a church that focuses so hard on community and doing life with one another, without that i think it would be easy for me to feign this. fake it a little, pretend like friendships are real community, and call it a day. that’s not what i want! real, authentic community. and in that, an encouragement towards contentment.

contentment, as i mentioned, is such a choice. for me, another way to actually CHOOSE this kind of joy and contentment is to notice the little things, to HONOR the little things. like soaking up the times when keaton gets a case of the giggles and can’t stop laughing. or when i see trevor and keaton running around the house- keaton chasing him growling and saying “i’m a lioooonnn!!”, or even the bigger things like the big conversations trev and i have about our future, our family, mission work, whatever (or the asinine conversations we have that leave us both cracking up for no apparent reason). soaking up those things. enjoying those things. when you soak up that, there’s much less time to think about what is lacking. and honestly, in those moments- there isn’t much that’s lacking at all!

i’m not saying i don’t want to strive for more. or that learning or gaining new skills or knowledge is bad. not at all. or that i don’t want MORE from life. because i do, and i will. but the MORE just looks different to me than what conventionally it might look like to others. contentment is not complacency.

i know i will struggle and fail at this, and while i am encouraged by the first couple weeks of the year, i know that there will be weeks where i am just not. i hope by simply pressing “publish” here this serves as a reminder to me of where i’ve been and where i want to go. and what i hope for your hearts as well.

how are you doing? what are you hoping for this year? where is your heart focused? let’s get real here and encourage each other in this.

and, i leave you with some of the small things that make my heart full. just a small conversation, but a sweet part of my heart. contentment in this giggle.

where did my baby go?!

i’m pretty sure we’ve hit that moment. well, pretty sure we went soaring past it, actually.

{pic from Amy at Tiny Green Elephants!}

this little baby of mine is no longer a baby. he is teetering on turning 2 in the fall (what?!), and his vocabulary is that of a 4 year olds. he tells every animal he sees that he loves it, and smiles and waves at every person who passes by saying, “hi new friend!” he only has one chin now, well…most of the time (thought that would never happen), and a full head of toehead blonde hair (again, never thought that would happen). he has got a strong personality and a strong body- sometimes a tough mix, but a mix i wouldn’t trade for the world. he spins around, says “pow” for some cool special effects when playing, kicks balls, plays t-ball, and absolutely positively loves to run. he walks along in the waves on the shore by himself, and he asks me questions constantly about the world around him. he’s a real live person! of course he always has been, but it’s becoming glaringly obvious that he is not wasting any time growing up.

{yup, another sweet pic from Amy at Tiny Green Elephants}

where did my baby go?

my heart. my little heart. totally melted.

when did you do know that your baby was no longer a baby? does that mean it’s time for…{gulp}…ANOTHER ONE?!