the birth of selah

okay, so here we go. i often share my students’ stories here, and i thought it was only appropriate to share selah’s story as well. it is one that rocked my heart in the best way possible, a story that lights my husband’s heart on fire..for birth, for me, for his children. it is one that really served to heal some previous hurts, and give me encouragement for the road ahead.

remember when i went on and on about my love for my chiropractors? well, on thursday september 12 i went in for one last adjustment, as i felt baby’s back was on my right side and i really wanted him/her to flip over into a more straightforward LOA position (oh the things birthy people know…). i left my adjustment feeling great and met my family for lunch. i felt baby shift over to LOA soon after lunch while i was walking to my car…little victories!! keaton went over to my mother in laws, as he does on thursday afternoons, and i came home. i napped and cleaned like a crazy person when i woke up. around 5ish i started feeling a little different- a little nauseous (i had been dealing with some third trimester nausea previously so assumed it was just that), and just a little off. i even texted my doula to tell her that i was hoping things would start to happen, only to later text her around 8:30ish that it was wishful thinking.  trevor got home from work late due to a work dinner, and keaton was dropped back off at our house around 8:30. he went right to sleep and i kissed him before i left his room…i kind of felt emotional leaving, as if i knew it would be the last time i would kiss him as my only child.

trevor turned on duck dynasty and i headed to lay down in bed and watch a movie on the ipad. we both needed to just zone out- him after a LONG week at work, and me because, well, i knew something was coming i guess. before i got into bed i brushed my hair (never happens! ha!), washed my face and put on a little makeup. what?! i got into the outfit i wanted to wear while laboring. i told myself i was jinxing myself, but i could not NOT do it.

around 9:45 i felt a pretty intense surge that wrapped around from my lower belly into my lower back. it wasn’t painful or anything, just really tight- even moreso than the other warm ups I’d been having. told myself not think about it and started watching my movie. about 5 minutes later i got up (to clean a little bit more in our closet, i couldn’t help myself!), and i felt a warm trickle down my leg. hmmm. peeing myself. great! i walked to the bathroom and bam. gush. definitely not peeing myself! this was exactly how keaton’s labor began, i was comforted by that in many ways. i knew it was time now finally, one way or another, we were gonna meet this babe. after LOTS of warming up in previous weeks, it was game time at 40w+4d (there was a huge part of me that knew i wanted my water to release as my first sign of labor, as i did with keaton, because i waited so long for keaton that i was nervous all of this warming up was going to mess with my head too much). trevor was stoked, i was stoked. we turned on some good tunes and just started talking. about the baby, about keaton, about life. i paused every like 5-8 mins or so and breathed through my surges, but they were honestly easy at that point. really tight, but nothing i couldn’t just focus on and breathe through.

i let my doula, midwives, and photographer know that my water had broken but that there was no rush for anything at that point- labor was in the early stages and was easy at this point…it would be a long night…right?! trevor tried to sleep (it was going to be a long night…right?!) and i just got comfy on my ball and got lost in the music that was playing. about an hour and a half later, my surges became more intense. still breathable and manageable, but i noticed a shift in how i was experiencing them…how i needed trevor to push on my back to alleviate the pressure. how i needed to make some deep noises to work through them. i was doing it and handling it just fine, but it was new. i let my doula know, and apparently she knew more than i did- we told her it would be too early to come to us, but she listened to me and read between the lines…she was going to come by and say hi. she told us to call the midwives to tell them the same. the midwives said they were on their way too…i almost felt bad, since honestly i felt like i was so early in labor that they would be missing out on a night of sleep by coming to me. i labored on the birth ball, leaning over our bathroom sink, and leaning over our dining room table (which happens to be outside on our covered patio…it was a beautiful night and laboring outside felt great).

funny being on this end of a birthing mama instead of the doula end.

everyone showed up around midnight, and we decided to call our photographer a bit after that because i was finally at the point where i felt like i was in “active labor.” my doula has the sweetest voice and i just focused on her telling me to keep  breathing, to let the last one go. she was exactly what i needed. trevor was the muscle of the operation- pushing on my back and eventually into my hips for each surge while i swayed back and forth, gently moaning with each tightening. jenna was the sweet voice i needed at the moment i needed it. it was exactly what i wanted it to be.

i had some music going in the background and had some cards with scripture written on them out for me to read. amazing how many worship songs and how much of scripture talks about surrender. these were the good words that i needed to keep surrendering to God, to the process…to stay calm, to trust.

the midwives wanted to check me around 12:35ish, just to see what kind of progress i was making. i really REALLY didn’t want to lay down on my back, but made it to my side on our bed and felt a bit better. i remembered then how much i really don’t like those checks. no fun! but, good news. i was 8cm and totally soft. what?! labor only really just began?! it wasn’t THAT hard, certainly not transition kind of work quite yet. 8cm. let’s fill the birth tub up with water! yes, perfect idea. my tub was pretty deep (too deep!), and would take a while to fill up, but we started filling it then and i was encouraged to go sit on the toilet or labor in the shower till it would be ready. i thought in my head- i bet i have about an hour more of labor before meeting our baby. totally could handle that, then totally didn’t expect what came next! literally minutes after being checked and being 8cm, i needed to push. i hadn’t made it to the toilet (thank goodness!) and knew, with that instinct, there was no way i was going to make it in the tub. i grabbed onto my doula and bore down with my breath. one good moaning downwards and i felt that all familiar burning/opening. wait, baby?! already?! no no, that’s crazy talk. i remember thinking, perhaps even saying, “you guys don’t understand!” … i felt like they didn’t understand what i was feeling (they did), or that the baby was coming (they did).

my body took over and i went along for the ride. i instinctually climbed onto my bed on hands and knees. welp, there’s part of baby’s head! that natural expulsive reflex came and went, giving me breathers in between. baby popped back in once i got on my hands and knees and i made my way down to laying down on my side on our bed and that little rotation was exactly what baby needed. baby was popping right out, even with a hand up near his/her chin. i was so hot. so so hot. i was wearing a headband (that i thought would look SO cute. haha!), and i threw that off and my doula got me a cold washcloth. ohhh the sweetest of all sweet reliefs.  i kept trying to close my legs, even though i knew i wanted to be as open as possible…shout out to the midwives/their apprentice for dealing with my leg! haha! my breathing got off and i kind of “lost it” slightly at this point- but got it right back when i was reminded of the fact that i was safe, that baby was here, that i just needed to breath. i caught my breath again and had such a sweet moment of trust. i closed my eyes for one final encouragement for baby to come out, only to realize that baby was just about to. trevor kept telling me “open your eyes, you need to see this!!,” our eyes met and his face was beaming. my midwife encouraged me to bring my hands down to lift up my baby onto my chest. what a feeling- that little slippery, tiny, warm body making its way out of my body and into the world and into mommy’s hands. unparalleled honestly. i tried to bring baby up to my chest and was met with a very short cord.

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i laid baby on my belly and just stared. in awe. we had a baby. already. i was just barely laboring?! and baby is here now?! what?! on our bed?! in our house?! while keaton sleeps?! it all started to settle in.

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i looked at baby’s sweet face and my GOODNESS was it keaton’s twin (just fewer chins!!). baby didn’t even cry. not for quite a while. baby just breathed slowly, the thick umbilical cord still pulsing and helping, and baby just looked into my eyes and looked around. so mellow, so chill. taking it all in. our eyes caught each others’ for about 15 seconds straight, and as i talked to baby, her (we didn’t know she was a she yet!) eyes got wider and breathing got more rhythmic. this was the type of birth i dreamed of  and prayed for for my baby. gentle, loving, dimly lit, warm, hands off, and surrounded by safety. 12:47am, september 13. about 2 hours and 45 mins after labor began. only about an hour after feeling like i was actually truly really actively laboring.

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i labored so quickly and unexpectedly that our photographer (Labor of Love Photography. Amazing captures, right?!) came literally as baby was being born. for a moment i felt bad about not calling her earlier, but then it was exactly what it was meant to be- and i never ever would have guess in a thousand years that i would have gone that fast, or been that far along, so there was no reason to call earlier. but praise God she made it then, as she captured some of the sweetest moments of our entire life- meeting our little one.

we spent time oohing and aahing over baby, talking about how quickly that went, and just cuddling with our babe. we realized about 10 minutes after the birth that we had no idea if we had a girl or boy! what?! trevor lifted up the blanket we had over her and stared for a little bit. “it’s a boy!!” oh wow, a brother for keaton! how exciting! and then cue some silence from the midwives…ummm…you might want to look a little more closely. trevor lifted up the blanket again. “what? i can’t really tell!” haha. it was dark, things are swollen, the cord was still attached…eventually he put it all together. a girl! a GIRL!! keaton knew from the moment we told him he was going to be a big brother that he was going to have a little sister. he just knew.

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i tore a bit and had to be stitched up after my placenta finally decided to come on out…not my favorite thing in the world. honestly even after i just birthed a big baby, the stitching was…bleah. selah’s hand was up near her chin and i think that’s what did it, that and the fact that she just powered her way outta there! but there wasn’t that much to be mended and it was over quickly and it healed really easily, i was really not uncomfortable at all afterwards, and no swelling at all. score.

i got up to pee and was encouraged that all was well. haha.

our midwives and doula cleaned up, made me some food (almond butter on toast never tasted so good!!), and were just such an encouragement. as they began to pack up i realized something…i just had a baby. on our bed. and now i get to sleep in that bed. with that baby. with my husband. and be comfortable. it was a glorious thought. it was a glorious reality.

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as everyone started to leave a couple hours after the birth, our sweet doula stayed to pray with us. we thanked God for His provision, for His goodness, for our sweet daughter. it was one of my favorite moments to thank God for His willingness to provide this desire of our hearts to not only have a home birth but have a healthy, happy little one.

we got to sleep in our beds with our little girl, working on breastfeeding again (so different since i was so used to nursing a toddler last time i did it!!). trevor and selah slept, but i was on a high. the oxytocin flowing in that room was unparalleled, and i was just riding along with it. i went in and out of sleeping a little bit that first night, but didn’t really get to sleep till the following night. birth high, i tell ya.

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keaton came into our room the next morning as he always does and was met with his baby sister. what a moment! he climbed into bed with us and was amazed at all of baby’s little features. “baby has hands!! and eyes!! look at baby’s ears!! and nose!! wowwww!!”

trevor made us all breakfast, and we just hung out until we were ready to tell our family later in the day that we were ready for them. it was exactly what we wanted.

this story of selah’s quick entrance into our lives is one that we treasure greatly. it not only served to remind me of how inviting God purposefully into our experiences is such a sacred thing, but it reminded me of the sanctity of life and how precious the first moments of a new life truly are- to that baby, and to that entire family. it reminded me of why i do the work i do. it reminded me of why i have such a heart for women all over the world.

thanks for reading our selah girl’s story!

for more info in our super fabulous birth team:

doula: Jenna Anderson

 midwives: San Diego Midwife

photographer: Labor of Love Birth Photography

carly’s birth story

it’s been a while since i rocked a birth story on the blog, and i thought now was a lovely time to grace y’all’s hearts with a sweet story of how a little lady was welcomed into the world in a calm, confident, and really beautiful way. carly and her husband joe took my classes in the spring, finishing the class ON carly’s guess date, and their little lady annikah decided it was time to say hello to the world the following morning! enjoy!

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kelly!! i was already planning to write to you today to thank you for an incredible class and a really beautiful bonding time between my husband and i over the last 5 weeks. we especially loved the labor run through last night…and i say “especially” because…well…we actually put that into use later last night night into the early morning hours today, welcoming our daughter annikah naturally into the world this morning at 9:07am!

as a quick overview, once we got home from class we were in such a good mood. joe kept telling my baby “come out soon, i don’t want to forget what to do!”

i took a shower and got settled in to watch my tivo’d “conan” and i started feeling some light surging. i assumed it was just some warm ups and went about my giggling and ice cream eating. the “warm ups” were coming every 5 minutes or so once i realized they were still happening, but they were super mild in sensation so, again, on with the giggling and tivo watching. about an hour later when we were on our second episode, conan was doing a skit about basketball player wives (it was so stupid but so funny. in case you can’t guess, i have a celebrity crush on him!) and i was cracking up. and then i felt all warm and watery. “oh great, carly, you peed yourself” i thought. i stood up, joe and i now cracking up that i had peed myself, and a larger gush came out from underneath my nightgown. we both kind of stopped laughing, looked at one another, and joe said “oh, it’s on!” we both knew it was my water that had broken, and my surges IMMEDIATELY felt more intense and were making my back feel achey. good thing we we went through that counter pressure just a couple hours before, because joe was on counter pressure duty for the night/into the morning on my lower back. it made it all so much more manageable!

with every surge my back ached. it wasn’t like a terrible pain, it was just as if i didn’t feel anything happening in my uterus, only tightness and pressure in my low back that went away when i wasn’t in a surge. honestly, the first about 6 hours of my 9 hour labor were really not that bad. every 3-4 minutes i’d have some back achey annoyingness that i really had to focus to get through, and then we had time in between to sway, cuddle, choose a new position, go to the bathroom, etc. it really was such a blessing to have just had that run through in class, it was all so fresh and i felt so confident.

this went on for hours, and eventually i hit a point where i looked at joe, who was being so awesome trying to be so present and calm and loving, and said “get me to the hospital now. i literally feel like my face is on fire, i keep pooping. honestly. this seriously sucks. and i feel like such a mess.” joe was a little surprised since i had been relatively quiet so far in my labor, and those low noises we talked about/practiced in class started coming out. apparently joe texted his brother at this point “it REALLY is on now.” we both knew i was transitioning and i was just really uncomfortable. i wanted something new. i wanted this baby out. again, it wasn’t like it was an out of control pain or anything, just so ridiculously exhausting to focus for that long. you know what i mean?

we got to the hospital and i was 8cm. victory! check in was really easy, much easier than i thought, and the nurse who we got assigned was really hands off and very sweet. she got us a few wet wash cloths for my forehead and neck. sweet woman. i labored for 2 more hours before i really felt any kind of actual urge to push, even though i was 10cm after the first hour there. my doctor and nurses told me that they’d wait a while before “coaching” me to push in case i never felt the urge. that urge finally came though. and it was exactly like you described. i couldn’t resist it, so i just gave into it. i breathed and made crazy manly noises like i never had before, and bore down with everything i had, exactly what my body was telling me to do. the nurses said they were surprised that she was moving down as well as she was given the fact that i was still technically breathing while pushing. thinking back on it i thought that was really cool.

i hate to be “that girl” but the actual giving birth part felt kind of good. not like i want to do it all the time kind of good, but such a welcome relief from my back aches and intensity and just not knowing what my cervix was doing. i felt more in control. and i felt my baby’s head. i was on my side when pushing and it seemed like a pretty good position for me. i imagined being squatting or something, but after being up all night i really just wanted to lay down.

crowning was…not as good of a feeling. but it didn’t last for long. she was positioned normally for birth (i thought maybe she was sunny side up from all the back discomfort?), and once her head really popped out, her shoulders and body just sort of slid out. i tore a bit but nothing major.  my placenta took a while to detach and they gave me a shot of pitocin after birth to help with all that, which i wasn’t a huge fan of but i wasn’t super opposed to either, especially in that moment when i kind of didn’t care about anything else but being with annikah and joe.

i got to be with my baby for about 2 hours before i realized they hadn’t weighed her or anything yet. i loved the feeling of her squirming around on my chest, her lusty cries, and her little wide open eyes that were staring intently into mine as if to say “oh, there you are! that’s what you look like!” i was on a high for quite some time. so was joe. i actually think i still am. i meant to write you like 5 sentences and look where we are. talk about a man who was proud of his wife, joe has been loving on me so hard today, and if you aren’t friends with him on facebook you should be, his status updates about the labor are hilarious. i’m so proud of him, too. he handled everything so well and with such patience and (even if it was a front) confidence.

thank you a million times over for the class. without it i seriously doubt we would have welcome annikah into our lives in the way we did. it was life changing. i can see why you do what you do. it really does change you, and i can feel that already. i love her. i love joe. we love you!

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carly and joe!! congratulations on the birth of your sweet little annikah! i’m so thankful that our time together was fruitful and that you took a lot of great tools with you into the birth. i CAN’T BELIEVE you went into labor right after class, what perfect timing! i so appreciate you sharing your story with me and with all of us. it was beautiful to read, and i swear i could sense the oxytocin just oozing out of your writing!! lots of love! talk soon!

if you are interested in learning more about preparing for an awesome birthing experience, please contact me on my business site: Beautiful One Birth Services!