shay and kevin’s birth story

oh hey guys. i’m still here. slowly (like really, really slowly) getting back in the blogging groove. i wanted to start it out with a bang, and this sweet birth story from shay and kevin will do just that!

shay and kevin took my online essentials for childbirth preparation class (another blog post soon to reveal more about what those classes are all about!) when i first made them public in february. they live in arizona and are friends of friends, who both had crazy schedules. online classes were a perfect solution for them, so we connected and made it happen for them! here is the story of the birth of their little girl, jules.

hey kelly,

she’s here! jules was born 2 weeks ago weighing 9lbs 1oz and 21 in long. i was 41 weeks and 2 days when I had her. i never would have imagined i had that big of a baby inside me, but i guess knowing that kevin was 10lbs 3oz when he was born should have been a warning, right? !!! i wanted to thank you so much for the virtual classes we took, kevin felt super prepared with message techniques and positioning ideas to help me get comfortable, and i just focused on breathing the entire time. you were right though, it WAS my job to just breathe. when i focused on that, my surges weren’t insane. when i wasn’t focusing for whatever reason, i could feel it. that was motivation enough to start going inward and just realizing my one job was to breathe for me and for jules.

the story:

i woke up around 3am with a dull lower back ache and needed to use the bathroom. i had been having surges on and off all day prior, and i really did feel like tonight would be the night. but then i fell asleep and assumed it would be another day. as i was walking to the toilet my water started leaking (i thought i was peeing myself like you mentioned, but a gush happened soon after!). i was so excited labor was starting, and i got kevin up. he told me to go back to sleep, or at least get rest. so i put on a movie and “rested”- even though i was so excited. my surges weren’t intense yet, but i did have to breathe through them. around 7am kevin got up and made us breakfast. while he was cooking the eggs i had one HUGE surge that basically brought me to my knees. i had been surging consistently ever 5 minutes or so since 5am, but i was laboring just fine alone before he woke up. when this surge hit at around 7:45am i had been using him to help give me some hip relief and lower back relief too with some of those pressure skills you taught us. this one surge was so intense and out of the blue, and i started shaking a bit. i immediately thought, not only is this go time, it is GO time.

kevin grabbed our stuff, including our breakfast that he put in tupperware quickly, and we headed to the birth center. we live about 30 minutes from there with no traffic, thankfully it was a weekend morning so we didn’t have to deal with that. i began feeling like i needed to sway more deeply and moan more manly-like while we were in the car, which was hard to do swaying wise, but i was in the backseat grinding my hips around trying to find comfort amidst the bumps on the road. kevin was probably driving about 100mph on the way there. i had planned music for the car but we ended up listening to some 80s at 8 radio thing, which, by the way, it was kind of awesome to labor to “i’ll tumble for ya” : at the very least it made me laugh in the middle of my now super intense surges.  when i breathed i felt powerful over the surges, when i got caught up in the intensity, it felt like they owned me. it was crazy. i just kept telling myself to focus on breathing, that i could do anything for a minute, that i was going to get in the tub soon. i gave myself a pep talk as kevin said a few encouraging things, but i honestly don’t remember what those were. thanks though, kev!

we showed up to the birth center and it took me about 6 surges to get from the car to the room. slowly but surely. they checked my cervix when we got there. 9cms. WHAT?! i hadn’t been laboring that long, it was intense but i was managing it well enough, and i hadn’t gotten to the part where i was thinking “i can’t do this anymore!” i was so encouraged by this news i started laughing. yup, laughing at 9cms. who would have ever imagined me, who cries when i hit my funny bone, would have laughed during labor?

well, it wasn’t all fun and games. as i progressed i did feel a bit like “i can’t do this anymore” as i was at 9cms for 3 hours. let me tell you though, getting in the water was a godsend. i jumped (well, i didn’t jump, obviously) into the tub soon after we arrived and it was exactly like you had said- took the edge off and helped me find peace in the waiting. after those 3 hours of sitting in the tub and being in different positions in there, i felt something new. uggghhhh. i was bearing down. i couldn’t stop it. uggghhhhh. it felt good but intense but hard but wonderful all wrapped into one.

midwives came back into the bathroom to check what was happening after kevin yelled “i think shay is going to have this baby in here with no one to catch it. and i think i’ll drop it!!!” they encouraged me to put my hands between my legs. part of her head. oh dear Lord, relief yet intensity yet more relief. almost there. still bearing down and i couldn’t help it. my body just did it.

3 more of those and out she came! the moments when they pulled her up from the water and onto my chest went in slow motion. i think i was the highest i’ve ever been in my whole life (well, i’ve never been high on drugs, but i can imagine the birth high is a million times more addicting than any other drug). her placenta was stubborn and stayed in a long time, i eventually had to get out of the tub and birth it, which wasn’t hard i guess i just needed a new position.

your classes and encouragement were a huge part of our birth story, and will forever be a part of our family’s story. when i read in your “about me” that you believed in the power that a birthing story has in the life of a family i didn’t quite get it. but now i do. and i agree, it is powerful. thank you for preparing us well and giving us the tools and encouragement we needed to trust the process and alleviate my anxieties. i can imagine her birth would have looked a LOT different if i didn’t prepare in this way. thank you forever and ever.

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congratulations shay and kevin! such a beautiful story and a total encouragement to my soul to hear that you now see the power that a birthing story has in the life of a family. just so inspiring! thank you for your kind words about your experience with the online classes as well, great to have “my baby” be well received!

and i couldn’t agree more. that birth high. something else.

if you or anyone you know is interested in online natural childbirth preparation classes, or group classes in San Diego, please feel free to check out my website for this info, along with doula support and placenta encapsulation information, and a small online shop for all kinds of birth/postpartum related goodies!

www.beautifulonebirthservices.com

the birth of selah

okay, so here we go. i often share my students’ stories here, and i thought it was only appropriate to share selah’s story as well. it is one that rocked my heart in the best way possible, a story that lights my husband’s heart on fire..for birth, for me, for his children. it is one that really served to heal some previous hurts, and give me encouragement for the road ahead.

remember when i went on and on about my love for my chiropractors? well, on thursday september 12 i went in for one last adjustment, as i felt baby’s back was on my right side and i really wanted him/her to flip over into a more straightforward LOA position (oh the things birthy people know…). i left my adjustment feeling great and met my family for lunch. i felt baby shift over to LOA soon after lunch while i was walking to my car…little victories!! keaton went over to my mother in laws, as he does on thursday afternoons, and i came home. i napped and cleaned like a crazy person when i woke up. around 5ish i started feeling a little different- a little nauseous (i had been dealing with some third trimester nausea previously so assumed it was just that), and just a little off. i even texted my doula to tell her that i was hoping things would start to happen, only to later text her around 8:30ish that it was wishful thinking.  trevor got home from work late due to a work dinner, and keaton was dropped back off at our house around 8:30. he went right to sleep and i kissed him before i left his room…i kind of felt emotional leaving, as if i knew it would be the last time i would kiss him as my only child.

trevor turned on duck dynasty and i headed to lay down in bed and watch a movie on the ipad. we both needed to just zone out- him after a LONG week at work, and me because, well, i knew something was coming i guess. before i got into bed i brushed my hair (never happens! ha!), washed my face and put on a little makeup. what?! i got into the outfit i wanted to wear while laboring. i told myself i was jinxing myself, but i could not NOT do it.

around 9:45 i felt a pretty intense surge that wrapped around from my lower belly into my lower back. it wasn’t painful or anything, just really tight- even moreso than the other warm ups I’d been having. told myself not think about it and started watching my movie. about 5 minutes later i got up (to clean a little bit more in our closet, i couldn’t help myself!), and i felt a warm trickle down my leg. hmmm. peeing myself. great! i walked to the bathroom and bam. gush. definitely not peeing myself! this was exactly how keaton’s labor began, i was comforted by that in many ways. i knew it was time now finally, one way or another, we were gonna meet this babe. after LOTS of warming up in previous weeks, it was game time at 40w+4d (there was a huge part of me that knew i wanted my water to release as my first sign of labor, as i did with keaton, because i waited so long for keaton that i was nervous all of this warming up was going to mess with my head too much). trevor was stoked, i was stoked. we turned on some good tunes and just started talking. about the baby, about keaton, about life. i paused every like 5-8 mins or so and breathed through my surges, but they were honestly easy at that point. really tight, but nothing i couldn’t just focus on and breathe through.

i let my doula, midwives, and photographer know that my water had broken but that there was no rush for anything at that point- labor was in the early stages and was easy at this point…it would be a long night…right?! trevor tried to sleep (it was going to be a long night…right?!) and i just got comfy on my ball and got lost in the music that was playing. about an hour and a half later, my surges became more intense. still breathable and manageable, but i noticed a shift in how i was experiencing them…how i needed trevor to push on my back to alleviate the pressure. how i needed to make some deep noises to work through them. i was doing it and handling it just fine, but it was new. i let my doula know, and apparently she knew more than i did- we told her it would be too early to come to us, but she listened to me and read between the lines…she was going to come by and say hi. she told us to call the midwives to tell them the same. the midwives said they were on their way too…i almost felt bad, since honestly i felt like i was so early in labor that they would be missing out on a night of sleep by coming to me. i labored on the birth ball, leaning over our bathroom sink, and leaning over our dining room table (which happens to be outside on our covered patio…it was a beautiful night and laboring outside felt great).

funny being on this end of a birthing mama instead of the doula end.

everyone showed up around midnight, and we decided to call our photographer a bit after that because i was finally at the point where i felt like i was in “active labor.” my doula has the sweetest voice and i just focused on her telling me to keep  breathing, to let the last one go. she was exactly what i needed. trevor was the muscle of the operation- pushing on my back and eventually into my hips for each surge while i swayed back and forth, gently moaning with each tightening. jenna was the sweet voice i needed at the moment i needed it. it was exactly what i wanted it to be.

i had some music going in the background and had some cards with scripture written on them out for me to read. amazing how many worship songs and how much of scripture talks about surrender. these were the good words that i needed to keep surrendering to God, to the process…to stay calm, to trust.

the midwives wanted to check me around 12:35ish, just to see what kind of progress i was making. i really REALLY didn’t want to lay down on my back, but made it to my side on our bed and felt a bit better. i remembered then how much i really don’t like those checks. no fun! but, good news. i was 8cm and totally soft. what?! labor only really just began?! it wasn’t THAT hard, certainly not transition kind of work quite yet. 8cm. let’s fill the birth tub up with water! yes, perfect idea. my tub was pretty deep (too deep!), and would take a while to fill up, but we started filling it then and i was encouraged to go sit on the toilet or labor in the shower till it would be ready. i thought in my head- i bet i have about an hour more of labor before meeting our baby. totally could handle that, then totally didn’t expect what came next! literally minutes after being checked and being 8cm, i needed to push. i hadn’t made it to the toilet (thank goodness!) and knew, with that instinct, there was no way i was going to make it in the tub. i grabbed onto my doula and bore down with my breath. one good moaning downwards and i felt that all familiar burning/opening. wait, baby?! already?! no no, that’s crazy talk. i remember thinking, perhaps even saying, “you guys don’t understand!” … i felt like they didn’t understand what i was feeling (they did), or that the baby was coming (they did).

my body took over and i went along for the ride. i instinctually climbed onto my bed on hands and knees. welp, there’s part of baby’s head! that natural expulsive reflex came and went, giving me breathers in between. baby popped back in once i got on my hands and knees and i made my way down to laying down on my side on our bed and that little rotation was exactly what baby needed. baby was popping right out, even with a hand up near his/her chin. i was so hot. so so hot. i was wearing a headband (that i thought would look SO cute. haha!), and i threw that off and my doula got me a cold washcloth. ohhh the sweetest of all sweet reliefs.  i kept trying to close my legs, even though i knew i wanted to be as open as possible…shout out to the midwives/their apprentice for dealing with my leg! haha! my breathing got off and i kind of “lost it” slightly at this point- but got it right back when i was reminded of the fact that i was safe, that baby was here, that i just needed to breath. i caught my breath again and had such a sweet moment of trust. i closed my eyes for one final encouragement for baby to come out, only to realize that baby was just about to. trevor kept telling me “open your eyes, you need to see this!!,” our eyes met and his face was beaming. my midwife encouraged me to bring my hands down to lift up my baby onto my chest. what a feeling- that little slippery, tiny, warm body making its way out of my body and into the world and into mommy’s hands. unparalleled honestly. i tried to bring baby up to my chest and was met with a very short cord.

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i laid baby on my belly and just stared. in awe. we had a baby. already. i was just barely laboring?! and baby is here now?! what?! on our bed?! in our house?! while keaton sleeps?! it all started to settle in.

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i looked at baby’s sweet face and my GOODNESS was it keaton’s twin (just fewer chins!!). baby didn’t even cry. not for quite a while. baby just breathed slowly, the thick umbilical cord still pulsing and helping, and baby just looked into my eyes and looked around. so mellow, so chill. taking it all in. our eyes caught each others’ for about 15 seconds straight, and as i talked to baby, her (we didn’t know she was a she yet!) eyes got wider and breathing got more rhythmic. this was the type of birth i dreamed of  and prayed for for my baby. gentle, loving, dimly lit, warm, hands off, and surrounded by safety. 12:47am, september 13. about 2 hours and 45 mins after labor began. only about an hour after feeling like i was actually truly really actively laboring.

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i labored so quickly and unexpectedly that our photographer (Labor of Love Photography. Amazing captures, right?!) came literally as baby was being born. for a moment i felt bad about not calling her earlier, but then it was exactly what it was meant to be- and i never ever would have guess in a thousand years that i would have gone that fast, or been that far along, so there was no reason to call earlier. but praise God she made it then, as she captured some of the sweetest moments of our entire life- meeting our little one.

we spent time oohing and aahing over baby, talking about how quickly that went, and just cuddling with our babe. we realized about 10 minutes after the birth that we had no idea if we had a girl or boy! what?! trevor lifted up the blanket we had over her and stared for a little bit. “it’s a boy!!” oh wow, a brother for keaton! how exciting! and then cue some silence from the midwives…ummm…you might want to look a little more closely. trevor lifted up the blanket again. “what? i can’t really tell!” haha. it was dark, things are swollen, the cord was still attached…eventually he put it all together. a girl! a GIRL!! keaton knew from the moment we told him he was going to be a big brother that he was going to have a little sister. he just knew.

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i tore a bit and had to be stitched up after my placenta finally decided to come on out…not my favorite thing in the world. honestly even after i just birthed a big baby, the stitching was…bleah. selah’s hand was up near her chin and i think that’s what did it, that and the fact that she just powered her way outta there! but there wasn’t that much to be mended and it was over quickly and it healed really easily, i was really not uncomfortable at all afterwards, and no swelling at all. score.

i got up to pee and was encouraged that all was well. haha.

our midwives and doula cleaned up, made me some food (almond butter on toast never tasted so good!!), and were just such an encouragement. as they began to pack up i realized something…i just had a baby. on our bed. and now i get to sleep in that bed. with that baby. with my husband. and be comfortable. it was a glorious thought. it was a glorious reality.

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as everyone started to leave a couple hours after the birth, our sweet doula stayed to pray with us. we thanked God for His provision, for His goodness, for our sweet daughter. it was one of my favorite moments to thank God for His willingness to provide this desire of our hearts to not only have a home birth but have a healthy, happy little one.

we got to sleep in our beds with our little girl, working on breastfeeding again (so different since i was so used to nursing a toddler last time i did it!!). trevor and selah slept, but i was on a high. the oxytocin flowing in that room was unparalleled, and i was just riding along with it. i went in and out of sleeping a little bit that first night, but didn’t really get to sleep till the following night. birth high, i tell ya.

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keaton came into our room the next morning as he always does and was met with his baby sister. what a moment! he climbed into bed with us and was amazed at all of baby’s little features. “baby has hands!! and eyes!! look at baby’s ears!! and nose!! wowwww!!”

trevor made us all breakfast, and we just hung out until we were ready to tell our family later in the day that we were ready for them. it was exactly what we wanted.

this story of selah’s quick entrance into our lives is one that we treasure greatly. it not only served to remind me of how inviting God purposefully into our experiences is such a sacred thing, but it reminded me of the sanctity of life and how precious the first moments of a new life truly are- to that baby, and to that entire family. it reminded me of why i do the work i do. it reminded me of why i have such a heart for women all over the world.

thanks for reading our selah girl’s story!

for more info in our super fabulous birth team:

doula: Jenna Anderson

 midwives: San Diego Midwife

photographer: Labor of Love Birth Photography

Cassidy’s HypnoBirthing Story

Hey, friends! Grab some hot tea, snuggle up with a warm blanket, and prepare to read a birth story that is going to just absolutely warm your heart. Cassidy, along with her good friend Alison, took my HypnoBirthing classes while Cassidy’s husband was deployed. Both Cassidy and Alison are L&D nurses at a local naval hospital, it was so great having their feedback and insights in the class as well! Cassidy knew he wouldn’t be home for the birth of their daughter, and she was SURROUNDED by loving and encouraging friends and family. It was really beautiful to see! Cassidy and I kept in touch as her guess date approached, and I was filled with joy to receive her birth story a few days after Charlotte arrived. This is her birth story…enjoy!

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Hey Kelly,
Just wanted to share my birth story with you!
It was forever a life changing experience in so many ways! Your HypnoBirthing guidance carried me through the incredible journey.

Charlotte arrived at 10:52 am. Happy and healthy as can be!

The Saturday i had been swept (membrane sweep) and i was already 4/80/-3… at 3am on the13th i started surges about every 7 mins that required lots of movement for comfort but were moderate at that point. I waited an hour then hopped in the shower, surges were now about every 5 mins. I then decided to wake my mom up and have her shower etc while I threw cookies in the oven for the nurses.  Meanwhile I’m on Skype with my husband they were now every 3-4. By 6 am we were headed down to my friends to labor at her house, as she was closer to the hospital than I was, and she was filling my tub I had rented- I was looking forward to that! On the way we picked up my midwife Sara and she checked me quick… And quickly decided that we’d be going straight to the hospital as I was already 8cm.  So Alison and my 3 other girlfriends met me there at 0730… They were dying because i made them all take the stairs with me to the 3rd floor and i was in lead. I was that patient that we always roll our eyes at and doubt when they come to triage smiling and perky saying “i think im in labor” and we check them and they are at advanced dilation… that was me! (but thankfully i know the whole staff!). My labor was remarkably easy, I was working but I honestly would do that again any day of the week! Heat pack on my lumbar, hip counterpressure  and leaning on the birthing ball (all that we learned in class) were my biggest friends.

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At arrival I was 9cm with a bulging bag of water… I had a saline lock placed and we only did doppler tones the entire time- so great! In all the hustle my husband who had great contact with me at home was MIA now on Skype… (He was assuming i went to my friends, got in the tub etc… clueless about the new plan and how quickly things were moving). Everyone was trying frantically to get him to be “there” but eventually I was feeling the urge to breathe her down… And was complete now… So I started here and there as I felt it, mostly in hands and knees… And then we got a phone call from Zac… Everyone cheered and literally my bag of water burst (it had meconium in it…so our pediatrician team had to be at delivery) within a minute of the call and the urges came on quickly… I have no idea how long I pushed, but it had to be over an hour or more with at least 30 minutes of crowning… My least favorite part by far… At some point I flipped to side lying which was a tremendous help and used the mirror.   The “ring of fire” was the most intense but I worked through it and they were doing compresses etc down there. And then the biggest moment of relief arrived at 1052 with her birth!!! She came out vigorous as ever which cleared any trace of meconium out of her lungs for sure and i grabbed her and went straight to my belly! I had 2 small 1st degree tears that Sara repaired after some lidocaine. But other wise my bleeding was minimal, I never had iv fluids or oxytocin postpartum, not even a Mortin yet… She breastfed within minutes and she’s been a rockstar at it  since. She is perfect! And Zac got to “be there” with us during it all which we hadn’t thought would be possible. But somehow these things work out!!!

image1 I honestly could not have done it without my girls… Oh my they carried me through it and brought my breathing after pushing back under control and I probably had 4 pairs of hands on me at all times… It was so remarkable and truly a shower of love!!!!
I think most of it was videotaped so once I’ve collaborated it down (at some point in the next few months hopefully), I’d love to share it.

Ahhhh what a journey… I never lost faith in my trust of my body or my baby… It just was so natural. They were all joking because at one point just before I started pushing I said ” I don’t understand why people would get an epidural”… I guess that’s how good I was feeling…. Couldn’t have done it without your expertise and hypno guidance! I’m so inspired and I’m in love with not only this beautiful baby Zac and I created but also my body and how it never ceases to amaze me!

Sorry that rambled. I’m just still in this surreal experience!
Best wishes,
Cassidy & Charlotte

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Cassidy! Not rambling at all! I was captivated the entire time. Thank you SO much for sharing your birth story (and a few AMAZING pictures!) with all of us. I love how supported and encouraged you were throughout the process, and the obvious trust and surrender you had in the intensity of the process. I am so thankful that you were able to have the experience you truly desired, and that Zac was able to be as present as he could be for the experience as well- what a sweet sigh of relief that must have been for both of you. Lots of love, mama!!

if you are interested in joining in one of my classes, please check out Beautiful One Birth Services for more class information/scheduling as well as other services!