38+ weeks

hey friends,

so i haven’t been updating much, and definitely haven’t been using this blog as much of a personal blog, in quite a while. but i wanted to fill y’all in on the goings on in the pappas household.

i’m currently 38 weeks and a few days. given that keaton was a 41w+5d babe, i keep telling myself to just assume 42 weeks. it was easy with keaton to just keep going and not think much about it, but this time around it feels different. literally. LOTS of practice/warming up happening, and lots of those lovely “zingers” as i call them. i know my body and baby are preparing…and for that, i am grateful.

we got some maternity shots done recently, too! this amazing and talented photographer (petula pea photography) was actually a doula client of mine. she is just the absolute sweetest woman you will ever meet, and is beyond talented. as you can tell by these sneak peaks:

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are you swooning yet? dead from gorgeousness? not our own of course, but just the FEEL and the LOOK of these photos? we wandered into a totally random field with dead grass and weeds and such and ta-da! talk about her having a vision…! again, her link is Petula Pea Photography, and if you are in San Diego- she does amazing work. Check out her portfolio! her weddings are so insanely gorgeous, too!!

we are currently feeling really grateful we are waiting to find out if this sweet pea is a boy or a girl. i love the build up of not knowing, and i love that the moment of meeting this little goose will be that much more of an “oh my GOODNESS!” moment. if that’s even possible?!

i keep thinking about how keaton is going to be a big brother, and that we will be parents to two little peas. i really don’t have those feelings of “ohhh, i feel sad that it won’t just be keaton any more” or anything like that…i feel like we have given him our absolute all during this period of his life that it has been just him, but that we have also really striven already thus far to show him that life isn’t all about him no matter what. so add in a sibling, move him to a remote nation for missions work, or put him on a playground with other kids…we want him to show us, as he says, “my kind, sweet, gentle heart.” goodness do we pray he always keeps that kind, sweet, gentle heart (of course there are days where it seems like it has left his little body forever! only to return a bit later in the form of cuddles and kisses and genuine care).  our prayer is that this new little life only serves to strengthen keaton’s heart in his awareness of our love for him, his abilities to be kind and gentle and encouraging and selfless, and to point him towards God’s everlasting love. what more could we want?!

i have a little email address that i set up for keaton when he was maybe 4-5 months old and have been periodically writing emails and sending photos or videos. i am writing him an email in a bit about how these are the last days of “just us” … and i am cherishing the waiting game (still very very early in the waiting game!) as of now, as it keeps me in this beautiful precipice of known and unknown.

i already know that the unknown is the most beautiful thing we have ever experienced, so this … this is exactly where we are supposed to be.

 

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