38+ weeks

hey friends,

so i haven’t been updating much, and definitely haven’t been using this blog as much of a personal blog, in quite a while. but i wanted to fill y’all in on the goings on in the pappas household.

i’m currently 38 weeks and a few days. given that keaton was a 41w+5d babe, i keep telling myself to just assume 42 weeks. it was easy with keaton to just keep going and not think much about it, but this time around it feels different. literally. LOTS of practice/warming up happening, and lots of those lovely “zingers” as i call them. i know my body and baby are preparing…and for that, i am grateful.

we got some maternity shots done recently, too! this amazing and talented photographer (petula pea photography) was actually a doula client of mine. she is just the absolute sweetest woman you will ever meet, and is beyond talented. as you can tell by these sneak peaks:

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are you swooning yet? dead from gorgeousness? not our own of course, but just the FEEL and the LOOK of these photos? we wandered into a totally random field with dead grass and weeds and such and ta-da! talk about her having a vision…! again, her link is Petula Pea Photography, and if you are in San Diego- she does amazing work. Check out her portfolio! her weddings are so insanely gorgeous, too!!

we are currently feeling really grateful we are waiting to find out if this sweet pea is a boy or a girl. i love the build up of not knowing, and i love that the moment of meeting this little goose will be that much more of an “oh my GOODNESS!” moment. if that’s even possible?!

i keep thinking about how keaton is going to be a big brother, and that we will be parents to two little peas. i really don’t have those feelings of “ohhh, i feel sad that it won’t just be keaton any more” or anything like that…i feel like we have given him our absolute all during this period of his life that it has been just him, but that we have also really striven already thus far to show him that life isn’t all about him no matter what. so add in a sibling, move him to a remote nation for missions work, or put him on a playground with other kids…we want him to show us, as he says, “my kind, sweet, gentle heart.” goodness do we pray he always keeps that kind, sweet, gentle heart (of course there are days where it seems like it has left his little body forever! only to return a bit later in the form of cuddles and kisses and genuine care).  our prayer is that this new little life only serves to strengthen keaton’s heart in his awareness of our love for him, his abilities to be kind and gentle and encouraging and selfless, and to point him towards God’s everlasting love. what more could we want?!

i have a little email address that i set up for keaton when he was maybe 4-5 months old and have been periodically writing emails and sending photos or videos. i am writing him an email in a bit about how these are the last days of “just us” … and i am cherishing the waiting game (still very very early in the waiting game!) as of now, as it keeps me in this beautiful precipice of known and unknown.

i already know that the unknown is the most beautiful thing we have ever experienced, so this … this is exactly where we are supposed to be.

 

and with that, hello…

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i kept telling myself i would focus on blogging when my final doula client i had scheduled before my own little goose arrived had her baby.  funny about the timing of baby’s births though…it’s never quite what you envision! this sweet mama nurtured and loved on her healthy baby boy longer than we anticipated, and i thought to myself- eh, i’ll write a post whenever it does happen and go from there. but i kind of envisioned starting to get back to blogging around week 22 or so. welp, hello week 25!

it was quite the labor for this mama. i pulled just about every doula trick i knew (and researched new ones) for this birth. and, in the end, a sweet little boy is now in the world and is so stinkin sweet and healthy and fully loved by his family. and a sweet little boy who shares the same name as MY sweet little boy, no less!

and with that, hello…

and with that, my phone has been turned off at night and i have started thinking of baby names. i have started to envision what life will be like with two. i have started to really focus on the reality of what is happening in my own belly, rather than solely focusing on what is happening in others’ bellies (although, of course, i still have that focus, it’s just not as intense as it is when doula’ing for a couple- where i am quite invested). it was pretty fun to have those conversations about names, about what little girl clothing we would get should this little goose be a girl…and how similar or different we think they will be if this little goose is a boy. i finally let myself go there, and it was pretty freeing honestly.

i will be 25 weeks tomorrow. i have 17 weeks or less to go before meeting this little one. and while yes, we are preparing for the birth, i am also doing much more heart preparation this time around. God has been working in our lives in mighty ways over the past few months (well, He always has been, we just have been crazy aware of it recently in particular), and i believe this is a result of our steadfast desire to spend time with Him and ask Him for very specific direction in terms of our family’s future. a lot of prayer in regards to having the heart of a parent of 2 that glorifies Him, for the good to be refined and for the negative to be made clean…for the heart of our kiddos to turn to Him and love Him by our example. i think i left God out of my journey in many ways in my last pregnancy- or, i should say, i didn’t understand the fullness i could have by intentionally inviting Him into each and every experience within my pregnancy (and life) and birth and early parenting world. i know better these days. or, i should say, HE has shown me better.

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i have about 6 different blog posts started for the next couple weeks, and more ideas swirling. some are birth related (you’ll hear more about my transition out of being a “hypnobirthing” instructor and into my own “brand” of classes that reflect, fully, what i teach, you’ll meet my “birth team” and learn a bit more about how i picked them, and pick up some advice about how to pick your own should you be looking for some of that!), as well as life related (learn more about what keaton is up to, what my belly is up to, what directions our family is being led…)

but for now…hello.

and for now…here are my babes.

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14+ Weeks

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14+ Weeks

So, I haven’t blogged much recently….or at all basically. Lots happening both personally and professionally. Kicking off my return to blogging with a little announcement for those who haven’t heard. #2 shows him or herself rather quickly, eh?! We are so excited to meet our little goose in September 2013! ❤